What is it that you seek the most? your most heartfelt desire, a world full of a riches, flowers and rainbows, or maybe just a houseful of giggles.
What is left of the nest when the birds flow out one by one? straws and hay.
I want the sky, not the straw- you will never understand oh birdie, i’ve tasted the clouds and they taste freedom. they breathe promises into my face and shall take me away right across the ocean to a new land- rich and prosperous.
You wont know little birdie you’ve just stayed here all your life. You’re too nimble to move but that doesn’t affect my decision from soaring high.
The little bird felt cold and feeble- remembering the days her nest was full of babies. They were not her own but she loved them alike.
They would sleep one on top of the other because well you see, it was a small nest, but oh dear lord they’d sleep like a baby
Years rolled by.
Mobile phone signals claimed some of them, while the rest just ventured on. Well they still visit the nest soemtimes, but they’re all grown you see.
The little birdie said nothing.
She just kept silent but her eyes told a different story.
that of wait-
While in her head, she could hear her house full of giggles.
Don’t we all look like a bubbly band of baboons waiting for our perfect moment to be captured and endeared into our thoughts ,echoing a thousand memories every time we speak of it?
Somehow, uncannily, this one picture is enough to mark the perfect end to our three year long journey as this one moment is enough to evoke innumerable words. Everyone is caught doing exactly what defines them the most and that I think is the most beautiful way of capturing someone in a photograph, or even remembering them that way.
In all our hunt for ‘candid’ pictures, I found this and I couldn’t be happier.
Look at kirti in the extreme left, radiant and confident as always. Must be thinking some x, y, z which is completely tangential to regular human thought processes, but her demeanour is nothing short of the usual kirti-gusto that she carries all the time.
Next in line is Ayushi, who can easily pull off a miss goody two shoes(well I only say this cuz she’s got incredibly hot legs; read white) and also she’s tackling kirti, so enough woes on her part already.
Then we have Sonali, who wore tanay’s yellow sweatshirt for the entire trip and only returned it to him after thanklessly rubbing some grease on it. Sonali is making sure everyone fits into the picture within a distance of 2 inches from each other.
Sooner or later, Rohan it is.
This boy is ever so confused about something I’m pretty sure he himself is unaware of.
If there were a Lord of tits and wine, Rohan would be saint.
Our esha is making sure that we are done with the picture ASAP so that she can go back to the hotel room and start unpacking things before packing them again. And repeat it for those who request her to do the same. Rohan are you listening?
Sadly you won’t, you just carried one set of clothes.
Yash, obviously has to gain the central attention because that’s where he gets his best business ideas from- in the middle of a fix.
Too anxious to get get done with the photo, Yash is basically abusing the fuck out of Rohan in his head for no specific reason.
Tanay is mindfully calculating the trade off between sacrificing study time with time spent at sterling, as also time forgone in not meeting aditi.
He doesn’t look very happy with the results; they shouldn’t have hid his brandy, it would’ve helped him forget his morning woes;
‘Rajat kitna burra hai’ Priyanka, trust me babe, you’ve countered enough cigarettes with him to say such a thing.
And lastly, Rajat, thinking, ‘main tha, main hoon, main hi rahoonga’..
She wants to travel around all those little pathways flanked by orange and red leaves and discover her own kingdom of dreams.
She wants to race her breath against the winds filling the gaps between the leaves, plucking one as they go
She wants to chase the sun hiding momentously behind some hideous clouds, threatening to burst but ends up losing her way around overgrown hedges and lavender
She sits on the fallen leaves, decoratively strewn on the damp moist mud
Taking a deep breath from the mad pursuit and relentless chase
She looks up to see trees woven in brilliant hues
The wooded scent, cedar, she thinks to herself
She smiles at the mysteries unfolding, unravelling her senses, merging into one
Preparing a cushion of bright yellow oaks and shutting her eyes in ecstatic gleam
She feels the faintest sun glow close in on her
Where the shire ends, her freedom crumbles
Where the divergent branches of the naked trees point, her hopes rise
Where the crazy winding of this beloved pathway leads, take me there.
The sun, moon and stars are too mighty a force
Let the gates of destiny be flung open so that every foot fall is a crisp mystery
Everyday, a dream.
Then why do all roads lead to him, all dreams a blur.
So I stubbed my last cigarette. No sad songs, nothing. That cigarette was just for me. I realized that slowly but eventually you have to let go of things. It’s always for the best. There is no need of having this invisible controlling force bogging you down when you must go on anyway; for what you really are, for what your life is worth. Yes, I can still hear the raindrops pattering down the neighbor’s roof but it’s the only sound I hear right now. My mind is not shouting out in despair and neither does my body need to be consoled by stranger tides. This is close to what peace must feel like. I don’t know how long it will last. A day, maybe two or even say a couple of months. But I’m there right now, I’m in the moment. And while a thousand petty mistakes await me in the near future, at least I have the moment’s peace. I wash my hands of this weirdness and strive for achievable things in life. I know wonders await me if i believe. And I do believe that one day I’m going to be spoiled and wasted and ravished and it will be for all the right reasons. I shall have my indulgences when they come looking for me and find me. Maybe I’ll enjoy that cup of coffee with my beloved friend or a local sweetheart or even my soulmate. But right now, I’m not ready to go out looking for one or devour present years waiting and tearing and fancying. Maybe for now I’m done. I’m glad this happened, for sometimes to find the right things you must be lost. Or else everyone would have found it. I guess those nights I’ll be lying down on a couch smoking a cigarette thinking about the long way I’ve come. It would be nice and comfortable to share my blanket with you and all those foggy thoughts. But now, I must do it alone, while I still hear the patter of the rain without a heartbeat. For now, the night is young and the wind that blows on my face, promising.
I don’t know what was he even staring at. It only lasted for a second, although I swear time stopped.
Having graduated to a lesser rank of ‘friends’ from soulmates, the transition was pretty rough. So much so that seated behind I could only stare at his fathomless eyes, right across the rear view mirror but not read into them anymore.
The car sped, edging onto the highway, with two other friends in the car and a merry song to keep the company amused. I pushed down the side window and felt the wind ambush my senses, slapping my face and blinding me with violent strands of hair flowing in all directions.
A hundred smiles flashed at me as I remembered our faces breaking into our very first intimate kiss, a hundred heads turn as we took on the dance floor with a jitter of thine and mine and two hundred shards of plain knife sticking onto the chest as you said goodbye.
I gulped, I smiled.
I stared into the rear view mirror, our only manner of stealing glances. You caught me.
Two openings into your beautiful soul, a precious possession of the past. I had had so much to tell, so much to explore but one brisk second and you looked away without any question.
Suddenly, a bolt out of the blue, a car raced past us making me jump in my seat and my friends scream as they pulled me away from the window.
Your eyes swooned in mischief.
Whatever they were looking at, I’d never know..